IMR: 1998: November: 11 — Wednesday, 10:25 p.m.
Our Apartment, Makiki, Hawai`i

Veteran's Day, a federal holiday. At my office, though, it was just another workday.

I didn't know for sure until yesterday, and Jen was mighty disappointed we wouldn't get to spend the day at the beach as we'd (somewhat) planned.

I'd hoped, as consolation, that we'd be able to impose upon mom for a couple of hours of daycare tonight so we could catch a movie. But Katie was grumpy, and I was too, and ultimately we just hung out and fled when "Walker: Texas Ranger" came on.

(Grandma is also a big fan of "Touched by an Angel," mere seconds of which make me physically ill.)

Oh well. At least we got a matinee raincheck for Saturday.

"Little couple-type things" haved quickly climbed way up on my to-do list. I don't know why, but I've been feeling a little out of sync lately, and Jen is one of the unfortunate victims of my hazy out-of-sortsness. She's also been fretting about this and that herself, which also doesn't help.

Not that things have been in any way unpleasant. In fact, I suspect the present aura between us is more in line with what I had always presumed things between the average, normal couple was like. That is to say, even after over four years together, we're usually so middle-school mushy and lovey that anything just short of that is what qualifies as a funk for us.

That is to say... Hell, I don't know what I'm saying.

Here. I've been feeling a little weird, and I think Jen has too, so we're just going to have to knuckle down and get out and just have fun to shake off the fall fog.

I sent Jen a "love you" card the other day, just because. That felt good.

Even though I had to work today, it could have been worse. I got to play with a new toy that — if implemented — would turn everything I usually do in web design inside out, shifting from handcrafted static pages to live-served content out of huge databases. All so that, conceivably a year from now, our site can be served in 20 different languages.

Oh yeah, and we went to lunch at Sam Choy's Breakfast Lunch and Crab.


One of my coworkers announced his engagement, so we used it as an excuse to celebrate. It was my first Choy experience, and it wasn't half bad. I had the Fried Poke Lunch, and everyone else's plates looked fabulous too. Boy does that man love his furikake... it was on everything.

Heck, Jen wanted to kill me when she found out (as she had to get by on frozen TV dinners). She made me buy her a Whopper before we headed out to Mililani, but it just wasn't the same.

Even though we didn't make a movie, our visit was nice. Katie crawled all over, back and forth from the kitchen to the living room, even chasing mom and Jen (also on all fours) at times. Anything and everything she bumped into she would pull up on, standing like a pro, keeping balance with one hand and surveying the world.

Mom and grandma also oohed and ahhed at her teeth, which have been coming in strong (with the accompanying fussiness) since last week.

I don't know what we were thinking in March, insisting she was teething at only two months of age. Yes, she was gnawing and crying, but whatever it was, it was nothing like what she's going through now. She's definitely teething, as evidenced by the actual presence of teeth, and when she gets your finger or shoulder in your mouth, there's no mistaking it.

A single tooth came through her bottom gum first, but it seems to have stopped halfway now to hand the pushing power over to her top gum. There, both her front teeth are just poking through, and I just get giddy thinking how much more insanely cute she's about to get.

Nine and a half months. Where has the time gone?

Speaking of flying time.

Next week is our first wedding anniversary. It came up on us so fast, dawned on us so suddenly, we very nearly got whiplash. Seriously. I can't believe it has already been a year since we tied the knot.

(Monday was IMR's first birthday, the first entry preceding the wedding by just over a week.)

It's the "paper" anniversary, apparently. But I just gave her a card. Hmm.

I'm really going to have to plan ahead for the "precious metal" stage. Unfortunately, it'll be some time before we can afford any extravagance for marking these milestones. But I don't mind at all. Through all our time together, I think, our expression of affection has always been modest, but beautifully sincere.

Honestly, I think if we make it to the movie on Saturday, we'll be happy. A movie ticket is made of paper, after all.

Some leftover thoughts on the long-concluded elections.

First, there was once a time when the best part of any election day was the subsequent disappearance of all the ads and posters and obnoxious sign wavers.

These days, though, our gloating politicians clutter our sidewalks for a few more days, each sign cleverly updated with a "MAHALO!" sticker. Believe it or not, there are still people showing up at rush hour with Mirikitani signs down the street.

Okay, okay, you got to keep your job, we're happy for you, really. Now go back to your office, and stay there for another four years.

Secondly, because Veteran's Day comes right after Election Day, the passing of the latter did not mean the end of what is probably the busiest time of the year for my dad. He probably had to race straight from Cayetano's victory party to his office to get things set for a storm of events all over the state today.

So even though we've been out of touch for a while, and it'll be even longer now until he can see his granddaughter again. I've always admired his work ethic, but now that I'm a dad myself, I can see some of the sacrifices that are sometimes made.

Katie's changed so much in the last two months, I know she's going to seem like a completely different person the next time grandpa sees her. Heck, I was thrown for a loop after being gone for only a week.

Finally, I'm still sick inside over the overwhelming "Yes" vote on restricting same-sex marriage. Even though our convoluted system may still render the vote moot, I'm upset because the "Yes" side simple didn't deserve to win, what with how hateful and ugly their ads got in the home stretch.

And Jen realized something even more upsetting about those ads. Unlike the "No" ads, where community leaders and prominent activists stepped up with their names and affiliations to reach voters, "Yes" ads relied heavily on local actors. People paid to say the kind of things most people would never express openly.

How did she know? Because she and I actually met a number of the people seen in those ads in September when we tried out for a bank commercial. After she mentioned it, I recognized some faces too.

Perhaps most incredulously, the guy who does the talking in the "don't open the door to weird marriages" ad is, allegedly, a member of the "weird" minority himself.

Actors! I mean, where are the people — real people — who actually voted yes? Supposedly two out of three people on the street did, but why won't they say? Why did it seem like everyone was averting their eyes that week? Where, I ask, are the proud smiles of a population firm in their beliefs?


An election, a birthday, a wedding anniversary... no wonder I've been feeling a little off lately. That's quite a bit of remembering, thinking, questioning and analyzing to do in one month. In my head, several different and profound sets of "then" and "now" are being compared and processed, leaving very little room for basic common sense.

Hmm. Not bad for rationalizing my absent-mindedness.


© Ryan Kawailani Ozawa · E-Mail: · Created: 11 November 1998 · Last Modified: 15 November 1998