IMR: 1998: August: 24 -- Monday, 7:00 a.m.
College of Business Administration, UH–Manoa, Hawai`i
Even though I live four miles from campus, and even though my first class is at 8:30 a.m., I left home at 6:29 to be sure I got a space to park on the narrow streets of Manoa. And I did... just barely.

[ Parking ]With today the first day of the fall semester, I shouldn't have been surprised that my fellow street parkers and I would all be trying to get an early jump on the space squeeze. (Of course many of them probably have 7:30 classes, so it's not that early for them.) For all my planning, I ended up with a strip of O`ahu Avenue curb several long blocks from the CBA building, just past the UH President's Mansion.

Pretty much the same area I wound up in for most of the summer, but at least then I got to leave home at 7:20.

All I can say is, if the Sovereign Nation of Manoa (aka the Manoa Neighborhood Board) succeeds in its ridiculous petition to restrict street parking in the valley, there's going to be hell to pay. I'm prepared to go full Josh Cooper if I have to.

Anyway, I've got well over an hour to kill before Professor Gerald Kato greets his newest batch of impressionable young minds. On the mind-bending schedule I had set up for the next few months -- juggling three part-time jobs, two classes, and one family -- this hour was to be graciously donated to the AIB, my morning campus job.

But since I neglected to tell them this, no doubt the office will open at its regular hour of "somewhere between 8:30 and 10," by which time I'll be busy learning about "Threshold Elements Relating to Communication: Falsity, Defamatory Meaning and Proof of Damages, Identification, and Publication."

For now, I'm entertaining myself with the first edition of Ka Leo. Unfortunately, like most sequels to moderately funny horror flicks, the laughs are few and far between.

Steve Murray, the news editor who brought us the page-one Rainbow Dancers spread last year, is at the helm. Most of the other names on the masthead are unfamiliar, save for former sports fanatic Isaac Takeuchi running the News Desk, RHS graduate and all-around nifty writer Catherine Toth on sports, and veteran Byron Lee wrangling the photogs.

(What's this? Former photographer Justin Dotson an Advertising Representative? Everyone's favorite Soon-Yi doppleganger as Senior Ad Representative? My my...)

What of the content? Well, Isaac's no Steve Murray, but he's trying. For the front page, we have a campus map, a feature article on the week-long back-to-school party, a welcome letter from President Mortimer, and an invitation to wave "welcome back to school" signs on the Bachman Hall lawn.

Surely there's news on page two.

Nope. A sixteen-inch commercial for Marriott. Page three has a one-article "survival guide," also plugging Marriott. Author Treena Shapiro gets extra points for mentioning the Student Handbook (a considerably better campus primer), however.

After that it's editorials, which looks like it will again be the strongest (if not all that strong) section of the post-us regime. Thank god Roy Chang is still around, as is the occasionally-brilliant Bryan Langley. Unfortunately, Marvin Nitta also returns with his "What a Life" derivative. Former Kylie squeeze Ikaika Hussey is now a Hawaiian issues columnist. Fascinating.

The features section includes an article with the headline, "UHM a value in education." 'Nuff said? Er... Almost. The section also features a photo package by Ryan Yamashiro, who has followed in Del's footsteps with a bikini spread. (At least this model is a UH student.)

The first page of the sports section leads with an article that's jumps from the back page. An article that doesn't have a byline, even. Cat Toth's been busy, at least, generating most of the copy. Even the Editor in Chief chimes in here with a short article.

It's no newspaper, but it'll do fine as a campus newsletter... or -- as it's been employed since time began -- as trash can liner.

So, after Thursday's moderately successful gathering, I've decided to take advantage of Squinty Boy's lingering island presence and give it another go. I sent out invitations yet again, no doubt annoying many yet again, and can't wait to see what happens this time.

I'll find out at 5:30 p.m. today, at Sushi No Ka Oi in Puck's Alley. There, I'll at least eat pretty well, even if I'm the only one that shows.

After that, that's it for at least a month or so. There may be a birthday party in there somewhere, but otherwise, I better lay low before the other IsleTies listees hunt me down and lynch me. The next attempt will probably be in late October, when Greg will be in town.

Well, time for class. I hope Kato doesn't mind that I only have one of the two required textbooks right now. I haven't yet heard from the loan committee on whether or not I can pick up the other one.

Seriously... 51 dollars? Do you have any idea how many Hungry Man frozen dinners that could buy?


© Ryan Kawailani Ozawa · E-Mail: · Created: 24 August 1998 · Last Modified: 25 August 1998